Thanks so much for the feedback and advice soulful survivor. I do think I need some professional help for sure. I've hit rock bottom and feel no emotion anymore, just numb and sadness. Thank God we have no children together...him 2 girls from previous relationships, me, 2 wonderful grown men from previous relationship. I don't think they much like him too much but try to "get along" for moms sake. I do not burden my family with my problems but I'm sure they are aware that I'm not happy and a totally different person over these last 10 years. I am going to read all the links you've so kindly attached and hopefully look forward to a more happier me in the future.....Oh the stress!!! I really appreciate you, just to know I'm not alone helps....your an angel, thank you....