Re: I was molested and abused

Anonymouspby, I am sorry that you've experienced such abuse and neglect and I'm not certain about the context of your questions.  If you're questioning something, you're not "fully recovered" because you're still searching for answers as to why you had those dreadful experiences.

Most family dysfunction is simply part of the human condition - people are what people are, and children suffer what children suffer.  There has forever been, is now, and forever will be abuse and neglect of children.  This is sadly a part of the human condition, and in a family dynamic where violence and ridicule is allowed, there isn't just one target.  There are deeper waters, here, and everyone within this family has issues related to abuse and violence.  It doesn't make it "right," but it puts things into a sort of dark perspective:  people harm other people, even their own offspring and family members.

That you are 14 and appear to be thoroughly educated, and that you do not employ contemporary slang, vernacular, and typing/messaging trends, says to me that you are smart enough to do what is best for you, in the long run.  I would make a suggestion that you contemplate counseling therapy with someone who specializes in family abuse.  "Sacrificing" for the "greater good" doesn't include being the family scapegoat for violence, ridicule, and neglect.  One doesn't just "fully recover" at 14 from such vicious behaviors and this is why you were targeted by bullies and perverts that were not family members - bad people can sense another individual's vulnerabilities and exploit them to their own designs. 

SO.......through strong counseling therapy with a specialist in family violence, you will process the horrible things that have been done to you and learn how to construct and maintain strong, healthy boundaries for the rest of your life.  Don't wait until you've chosen bad partners or made some other fearful decisions that adversly effect your life like I did.  You could tell your mother that you want to get some counseling, and remove that bullseye from yourself.

Brightest blessings to you on your journey.