Please Help. Nonstop Panic Attacks- Way Worse after eating- Derealization, Can't Drive, No Sleep.

Thank you for reading this, whoever you are. Please bear with me, I will not do my best to cover only the aspects worth note of the last four years. I will say now that I am in urgent and desperate need of help, and have exhausted most all avenues available to me.


I will start by saying that in October of 2012, I was taking a nootropic stack I bought from GNC (Windmill's Focus Formula) containing Huperzine A. It was my first foray into supplementation. I, over the course of a couple of weeks, became more motivated and energized than I've ever been in my life- and my memory was incredible. Very odd flashbacks from childhood and dreams I've had throughout life, as well. Constant reading of textbooks for college, watching documentaries, nonstop consuming of information. I was elated and, in retrospect, possible manic?


About a month and a half into taking this stack I woke up one morning and could not remember anything, had terrible brain fog, intense derealization, neck stiffness and incessant panic attacks. The rectal itching I’ve had on and off for all of my life since as long as I can remember had grown to be very terrible to where I couldn’t even wipe. It was just pain and blood. I had my university clinic check my rectum for hemorrhoids (none) and test me for Lyme, my Western Blot came back positive (P41 and P23 IGM). I subleased my apartment and moved back in with my parents. A few months later I went to an LLMD and was diagnosed with Chronic Neurological Lyme Disease. I was prescribed clonazepam after a ton of normal lab tests, MRI's, etc. I underwent Antibiotic treatment for a couple of years, on and off- mostly on. My dose of the clonazepam increased to around 2.5 mg a day during my time on the Antibiotics , and the stiff neck resolved itself as did the incessant panic- the panic states came and went.


The clonazepam allowed me to stabilize, provided relief from the derealization, and made me capable of driving my car without panic attacks/accidents and working a simple job. My memory was so bad, I was briefly prescribed Namenda- which of course did not help. I have tried, and tried, and tried to get off the clonazepam though. But whatever the root cause of the symptoms is that it is helping to mask needs to be resolved, I figured.


Here, though, it gets interesting. I had worked up to about 2.5mg of clonazepam a day since I was prescribed around March of 2013. Around November of 2015, I began mega-dosing probiotics and got a new job that allowed to me to eat very clean. For the Probiotics, I was taking about 200 billion cfu's a day, split into one dose in the morning and one at night. During 5 months of this dosing regimen, and eating well, I went from 2.5 mg of clonazepam to .5 mg a day. During this time I began eating pretty exclusively local grass-fed beef, free-range and pasture raised eggs, Antibiotic and hormone free chicken breast, and a ton of local & organic veggies and moderate amount of fresh fruit. About mid-march of 2016, I maintained my healthful diet and began working out a lot, about 5-6 days of the week, I has never been into cardio before but now I saw the beauty. That runner's high about 20 minutes into it was remarkable, and I couldn't wait to get to the gym each day to build and grow, release toxins, and get closer to being off the klonopin. Every day during my hour+ workouts I would listen to a podcast on the latest research in functional medicine. I was going out and hiking, going on trail runs, setting up my hammock and reading books on health optimization. (Potentially worth note, during these hikes, I came home with about a total of 12 tick bites during this month-long period of daily hikes/outdoor solo adventures- I know those well-educated on Lyme may believe this to be the source of all of this, but how can I be sure- what with the megadosing probiotics making such a dent in my anxiety?) I was able to get my clonazepam dose down to .375 mgs a day for a few months continuously, and then .25mgs one day, then .375mgs the next- repeating that cycle every two days- And I held this regimen steady for about a month and a half until late-may of 2016- when all of the major stuff really began- the reason I am posting this.

So that brings us to now. Never before did I believe it possible to struggle as much as I am. I presently cannot drive my car without panicking and having to pull off to the side of the road, I can't eat nuts, eggs, or any Sugar or carbs at all. I cannot even tolerate high-starch/high-carb vegetables even- all of these foods give me an instantaneous, overwhelming and terrifying surge of energy and panic, it is as if I just consumed exceeding amounts of caffeine or amphetamines. I can’t even watch scary shows, or action films- I can’t be around anything stimulating without the derealization/ seizure/hyperstimulation/ light-headed & faint sensations. I have raised my clonazepam dose back to .375 mg every day. Around Mid-March of 2016, as I said, I was exercising about 5-6 days of the week, sleeping a very solid 8-9 hours a night and feeling very rested upon waking, meditating every day, doing 30 minutes of cardio and some weight resistance training, for a few months until around late-May or early-June of 2016 when the "runner's high" from cardio began triggering severe panic episodes where I would be way too stimulated, feeling like a seizure was coming on, making sure I was standing in a spot where people would see me fall or faint in the event that happened. My post-workout shakes with organic hemp protein powder, a banana, 1/4th a cup of blueberries, kale and almond butter, and pumpkin seeds triggered hyper stimulation, this terrifying panic state and I had to take a .125mg of clonazepam and hang out in the street by my car trying to decide if I was going to take myself to the ER- I chose this location because if something happened and I fainted or began seizing then people would see me and come help. Now I don’t workout out of fear.

I just started meditating this week for much longer periods than I used to in hopes of something good. I don’t eat anything but clean grass-fed beef/sirloin, abx/hormone free chicken, wild-caught sockeye salmon, and leafy green cruciferous vegetables. I only drink 100% spring water, I don’t drink alcohol or smoke anything. Just one bite of a sweet potato, a steamed squash slice, a scrambled egg, quinoa, any fruit- triggers that instant oncoming seizure-esque hyperstimulated terrifying frazzled frantic state with erratic eye movement and my vision starts fainting and I forget to breathe until I let out a huge gasp and jump up to run for help. Even sticking to my diet of healthy clean meats and leafy greens brings up this feeling in a more mild way. I am terrified to eat. Prior to late-may of 2016, when I went from doing better than I have in four years to doing the absolute worst I have in my life, I was able to eat the occasional helping of sweet potato chips, or my morning spinach omelet, or even the occasional clean dark chocolate bar with added organic Sugar without any reaction whatsoever.


A few weeks ago I began seeing a local Family Nurse Practitioner who specializes in functional medicine/holistic approaches. We ran a Genova Diagnostics Organic Acids test and Genova Comprehensive Stool Analysis. The Stool Analysis Results will be back this coming Tuesday, August 16th. The Organic Acids Test showed my Vanilmandelate (VMA- Norepinephrine and epinephrine) metabolite levels are “Very low”, “high” sulfate levels, “high” B-Hydroxyisovalerate (Biotin Deficiency), “high” a-Ketoglutarate (it is indicated that “If HIGH Impaired metabolism due to cofactor insufficiencies or toxic metals”), and “High” B-Hydroxybutyrate (AKA ketosis- due to my avoidance of carbs). I will gladly send my test results to anyone interested. I’ve looked into these and the only thing that seems directly relevant to my symptoms would be the very low VMA levels, indicating either my body is using up norepinephrine and epinephrine quicker than it can produce it, and/or my thyroid or adrenals are fatigued? I don’t really know. Maybe someone more savvy with organic acids can give me some insight here, but those were the only abnormalities and I did as much google research as I could.


I was expecting to find some signs of pyroluria (my b6 and zinc are normal), or d-lactate acidosis (my Lactate levels are normal), or candida (my D-Arabinitol levels are very low). So now, I have no idea. I hate the idea that I may have to go back down the Lyme route- but surely there is some other possibility? I am really banking on the 3-day comprehensive stool test to shine some light and give me some hope, because I can’t keep going on like this. I welcome any and all input- even suggestions for lab work to run. My new doc is open to any testing so long as I can afford it, I suppose.

This is my first time posting on curezone, so my apologies if I broke any terms- I will gladly make any changes. I just need help, and don’t know where to go any longer. Initially when all the panic came back, I went from sleeping very well to experiencing about 7+ rounds of panic/shock/falling sensations jolting me awake right before I enter sleep, keeping me awake until the early morning. Since upping my clonazepam dose a month or so ago back to .375 a day to deal with this influx of crazy symptoms, I have maybe 1 of those a night, but even though I’m falling asleep now, I am no longer rested. My eyes are heavy in the morning, they even hurt, and it feels as if I haven’t even slept- however if I take chances with my diet, such as a few nights ago when I tried eating roasted Brussel sprouts at night, I wake up after 3-4 hours of sleep very early in the morning in that manic, hyperstimulated, very uncomfortably energetic state. I think you all get the picture, and I feel I am repeating myself now- so I will stop here. Please ask any questions you have, and I will answer them quickly. I am in serious need of some guidance here, Curezone… Please Help me.