Depression?

I'm new this forum but have been on curezone for a while now. I'm 29 and male, happily married with a 2 year old son and a daughter to be born in April. I hope somebody can help me here with these emotions I have. There are days when I just want to end it. Never acted on it though. I hate my job but my job is not the problem. I've had about 25 jobs since I was 17 and it just seems I'm wasting my life. It seems if I dont do hard labor I cant make enough to survive and its really taking its toll on me. Now I have kids and I know if I dont do something better for a living they will have the same fate as me and have to kill themselves everyday just to live to die one day. Last june I had a stroke an hour I had the mercury taken from my teeth. Ever since it seems I'm getting weaker and weaker. Every morning it hurts to wake up and start moving and I'm losing my ambition to even do it. It seems I have a dark cloud following me and I just dont want to deal with it anymore. My boss says its anxiety and I just have to deal with it. I do remember a while back 2 days into a Master-Cleanse I woke up and the cloud was gone There was CLARITY! I felt alive again but it faded before I could get out of bed. My brain fog is so bad I 'm losing common sense and some short term memory. Is this depression? It just feels hopeless sometimes. I have a $300,000 life ins. policy and I think if my wife had that money she would better off and not struggling finacially anymore. Sorry to ramble on but has anyone else felt this way?