I'm guessing you don't really project confidence or emotional self reliance. People can feel Depression miles away and most women kinda want to stay clear--unless they're really codependent and end up wrapped around you like a sausage casing--not really a relationship, just a security blanket.
But if you consistently fail at something despite your 'desire' to be otherwise (like weight issues for example), there's also a chance you, on an unconscious level want to fail---for one thing it's safer than getting your feelings hurt by a failed relationship.
Since it's very true that you don't look for the right person, you become the right person, take this time to do some self examination/emotional healing via counseling. Think of them as external consultants. They see things you, because of denial, do not. And expect to go thru a few before you find a good match. There are some real idiots in the counseling field, for sure, and of course the usual bunch of scammers, who're just there for the money. If they don't feel right, trust yourself, and move on.
And learn more about interpersonal relationships, not anatomy. A great conversation is much more stimulating than a sex addict trying to control someone with manipulation via sex organs. Yuck. And I'm a woman.