Body oder

I never knew how many people suffer from this curse in till know because in my world I seem to be the only one ,it hurts so much too read that there are many who suffer  from the same curse, I became aware of it when I was 18 an I'm 40 now, aware of what u ask an odar like farts/poo or should I say aura because an odar comes from a dead dog,garbage or filth an we are clean people, I take baths every day, I brush my teeth 5 times a day I put deodorant on an I'll  put brand new cloths on from head to toe, I'll  spray the finest Cologne an I'll pop two sticks of minty fresh gum an yet I still  seem to have this aura an the coldest part of it,you can smell the rose bush from your neighbor's  house or the barbeque from across the street or better yet the cake baking in the oven inspite of all this your oblivious to the aura that surrounds u,  every  now an again I feel like I been freed from the curse because days/weeks have went by an  I haven't  saw any of the  tale signs only because I ostracized my self from the  world so I step out so good so far I'm having  a good time to I feel free an then out of no where's u began to notice the signs ,when u suffer from a curse like this u pay attention  to details u began  to notice when people come up to u there nose begans to flare up you begain to see people open up windows check the baby's  diaper  u start to get hot your not laughing as much at first u was the life of the party u go from feeling a 100 to 20 to 20 below a 100 in a beat all the while keeping  a smile but crushed beyond measure from within,the person your speaking to begans to check there shoe an now u come up with a reason to go,u went from a 100 to 150 below, trust me when I tell u I know what your going threw it hurts to read that there's other feeling just like me it hurts I know what it feels like to want to socialize with people,I know what it feels like to love going to church but dread going in,I know what it feels like to take your family to stores out shopping while u wait in the car, I know what it feels like to sleep with your back against your spouse an as close to the edge as u can get, I know what it's like not to kiss your spouse deeply but pecks an she's  begaining to think that your no longer in love with her when u love her the most, it hurts sometimes  beyond measure sometimes I feel like selling my soul just to be free for a short while to be able to walk in a store with my family with confidence ,sometimes I fantasize most people  fantasize about wemon/men cars house well I fantasize about sitting  in the back seat of a car between  to people or speaking to someone  face to face or sitting at the table in the midth of everyone laughing an having a good time or even going to the movie on a Friday  when the  movie first comes out rather than going  two weeks later when it's just u an another couple,  telling your wife that you don't like to be around a lot of people when all the while you'd love to ,trust me when I say I know what your going threw it hurt so bad am I ever gonna be free I been praying for 22 year an nothing I tried  everything an yes I do know the Bible  story's how Abraham  waited 25 years an the Israelites waited 40 I know that we don't understand all his ways but suppose to trust in him, it's so hard I just don't understand  how am I suppose to be bold, courageous an confident  help me o God help us deliver all of us who suffer wash us with your blood cleans us an we will be clean please hear my cries an vendicate us with all power according to your glorious  might strengthen my faith God, help me to remain cause this curse is detrimental to my soul ,curse not a sickness curse because the doctor ran test came back clear curse because the dentist drilled filled an I left clean cursed no one ever telling me I stink an sometimes out of anger I'll  say what do I stink an there say no but turn around an crack jokes 22 years no one ever telling me but obviously  I do sometimes I wonder are we manifesting this aura because  the Bible says as a man thinketh so is he are we manifesting this because we do dwell on this odar an are minds are more powerful than we believe they say we only use one part of are brain an if we new how to use are whole brain we would be a super human ,maybe we are creating  this,forgive me I'm beganing  to babble thinking out loud I'll  cut it short I just want u To know I feel your pain hopefully some doctor will pick us with this curse up on the radar an realize it's a legitimate  problem that leads to depression an many other thing an if u can't understand it those who don't suffer from this try stepping in some poop walk around for a month to movies, social outing, stores,better yet in an office  amongst the conservatives then u tell us how u fill