My eating disorder

I am regretful of eating yet again, which is indicative of an eating disorder. Feeling of loss of control and all that good stuff. Just don't have the environment for it. If I was at TrueNorth Health, I would make it for sure. Really tired of setting fasting standards, breaking them, and wanting to set them again. Do I have even less self-control than the weed smoking girl who fasted for 25 days? How come I have more control in weed and less control in food? How do other people make it? I am so frustrated. I remember fasting for 22 days after my mom got her high score in her SAS base programming certificate test four years ago. I need that certificate. Gonna go get it now and get energy from it. Hope is near.