Re: Trauma

Again, I'm so sorry that you're having these experiences.  And, I read your original post, again, and you did mention that you'd suffered trauma.

The thing here is "living for other people" does not work.  It doesn't.  You are precious in this Universe - there is only one of you, and there are no others.  Finding that pearl of Self is something that only you will be able to do for yourself, if you choose to.  I will say that, from my own personal experiences (and, in my experiences with others) that living to help, save, or rescue other people never ends well - the expectations that the individuals that I'm helping are never met.  Typically, I "attracted' and chose very disordered people with the belief that I could affect positive changes for them - and, it's simply not true.  I didn't *like* this fact, one tiny bit, but it was something that I came to "accept" as I moved through my personal recovery and into personal healing.

There are many options available to you, if you choose to explore them.  I wish you the very best on your personal journey.......