Totally ****ing lost

Im going to try and make this as short as I can since theres too much to say and this is more of a rant than anything.

Never been as sick as I am until 2 years ago. Only 24 and have a magnitude of health problems now. On december 2012 I went overseas to israel. Started getting stomach pains and couldnt find out what was wrong. Left there and came back to the united states 6 days later.

Took 4 months to figure out I had c diff. When i first came back, i took some Antibiotics for an ear infection, but not even sure what the original problem really was. I had to jam 2-3 courses of flagyl in me to kill it which took about a month. Still been feeling like **** since then.

Between 2013 and 2014, I got d*cked around by a ton of doctors. Found no answers other than gastritis and vitamin d deficiency. been through a million tests and got nowhere.

Finally in the last few months I found a functional medicine doctor who had some better answers. got tested for sibo and parasites at metametrix which were negative. also tried hcl with no luck. Found out I had the following however:

-low bifidobacterium
-IGG Candida albicans level at 1.3 (apparently this means I have a candida overgrowth)
-Vitamin B12 moderately low (level at 470)
-protein malabsorption
-allergy to yogurt, yeast (not like i was eating either or anyway)

So my plan now is to be on the anti-candida diet and take a bunch of antifungals and probiotics for 2 months. After being on it for a month and half, im still calling bull**** since nothing is working. I been stuck with these symptoms for over a year (going on 2) now which include:

-chronic fatigue
-phlegm overproduction
-white tongue
-indigestion regardless of what i eat
-sore throat
-muscle pains
-stomach pains
-chest pains
-bowl movements are occasionally loose and suspect
-numbness in legs time to time
-crusty eyes and face
-insomnia so bad to where my new bedtime is 9am and my awake time is 5pm
-nightmares that follow frequent urination
-cannot stay asleep very long
-irritability and anxiety that no pills or supplements can control

i hear people talk about "die off" but i have no idea what that really means. i been ill for almost 2 years with no fluctuation in symptoms. theres just too much consistency to where i cant tell of any changes. since starting the candida diet, my symptoms have been at a total stand still. there was one point where i thought i was doing ok since i wasnt as tired and i was getting up a little earlier, but it didnt last long and i still had too many other symptoms to where it was nothing to write home about.

the only real improvements is my diet and no more weight gain since im not eating as much garbage since before thats all i craved (which was never like me before i got sick). the restrictive candida diet still sucks hard since it feels extremely stressful. i have to eat eggs every day for breakfast if i want any food in me since its the only thing on the menu for breakfast unless i want to eat tofu or some other weird nasty crap. i added some of the things not listed on the list (since my doctor told me to slowly add things back in) like oatmeal or bacon with no Sugar (but plenty of other lovely non Sugar preservatives ) but it feels like it makes no realistic difference either way. my doctor says i dont need to be on a super strict diet and that i mainly avoid sugar, but i feel that no matter what i do, its accomplishing absolutely nothing and is probably a waste of time.

the one thing that stands out however, is me having a protein malabsorption yet having to be on a candida diet. this **** makes absolutely no sense, since all im really eating is protein, yet i cant absorb it, yet i cant eat carbs either since it feeds yeast. in reality it feels like im fueling my body with absolutely nothing. its almost impossible to pick a real solution since either way im just totally screwed on whatever approach i take.

im losing so much money going doctor to doctor and cant work either. id like a new computer or to be able to save for a car, but instead i have to waste money on these tests that havent done ****. at some point this crap is just going to do me in since im just going to get punished and get too far behind if i cant figure out my **** at some point. my doctor says come back in the next week 2 weeks or even earlier, which i might do, but im not looking forward to it in any sense.

i cant beleive some of the **** i read on this anti-candida websites saying "get exercise" or "dont stress" when i can barely walk and have to worry about my livelyhood. What sucks too is how ****ed up the internet is with this crap. majority of the people on here are sick and clueless, and the people who arent sick are busy having a life unless there weird as hell and like spending their time on here for god knows what reasons.

just wondering if anyone has a clue. i hear all sorts of crazy things like heavy metal toxics, liver stuff, all sorts of criptic *** reasons that generalize bad health. its all one huge complex guessing game that makes me feel so bad. another thing to note too is that im sick and tired of giving blood to doctors. i never got sick doing it before, but now when i do it, it feels like im being totally drained of my lifeforce. i feel like i want to throw up and i feel so bad to where i have to lay down for a few minutes before i can do anything.

sorry if this comes off douchy but i feel like one big giant douche. im so lost in touch with reality that everything feels ****ed up and difficult to navigate. life sucks and its hard to feel optimistic when things are getting absurdly hopeless and theres no security in anything you do.