Loosing hope & gaining weight

I should start off and say I am a recovering anorexic. Who went through two years of being in hospital with ng tubes, heart problems and all that good stuff...thats where I imagine I got AF.

I'm trying to recover from this eating disorder and after I was weight restored I started gaining for no reason and now I'm 12 pounds over my normal weight and this is literately my worst fear and its happening and I'm suicidal because of it and I fear I'm never going to recover.

I sleep all day (especially fatigued after meals). I've tried a bunch of herbs from my NP and none of them worked.

I ordered ACE & lipsomal (1,000 mg vit c tablets) online and I'm hoping those will help but I'm loosing my mind.