Re: My story with NPD ex

I'm very sorry for your experiences with such a toxic individual. You "sound" young and that's something to be truly grateful for: you have plenty of time to heal from these experiences and sort yourself out. Thank goodness you did not enter into a legal binding contract of marriage with this man, or produce offspring with him!

Your decision to engage in counseling was courageous, although the toxic individual wasn't interested in changing and simply went through "the motions" to keep you (his target) handy. I encourage you to continue this endeavor on an individual basis so that you can recover from your experiences and develop strong, firm boundaries so that you'll be a much harder target for any toxic individual (man, woman, OR child) in the future. Addressing your past traumas and sorting out your boundaries will help you to focus upon YOU - a precious and irreplacable part of this vast Universe. It will also help you to avoid jumping into another relationship before your boundaries have been constructed. You "sound" like a very articulate and intelligent young woman - get yourself into college and focus upon being independent and goal-oriented for yourself. Then, you'll have the luxury of choosing whom you will and will not allow into your life.

Also, maintaining "No Contact" with the N and everyone associated with him (mutual friends, HIS family, etc.) is VITAL to your recovery process. BLOCKING his Cell Phone number, email address, FB profile, and those of his family, and mutual friends may seem dramatic, but ANY contact creates further damage. By blocking FB profiles of everyone associated with him, you will be protecting yourself from continued "contact" whem people post comments about him, or attempt to "inform" you of his situation.

Enforcing "No Contact" also extends to your own friends and family - well-meaning people (and, those who are NOT so well-meaning) often believe that we want to "know" what a toxic ex is up to, and it is not helpful for us to know about them, on any level. They're OUT, and you are "allowed" to tell anyone, "Look, I realize that you think I want to know about dipshit, but I really don't. Please, don't mention what he's doing, anymore. I will appreciate your respecting this."

My very best wishes to you in your recovery, and congratulations for getting out of a very bad situation!