Re: Depression

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel so overwhelmed. I was praying to God to help me, and I think through you He is trying to speak to me. God bless you!

Basically, I just feel almost hysterical from fear. My daughter and my friend were trying to tell me that Water Fasting is probably making me even more emotional than usual, and that is saying something, lol.

My son was diagnosed with AML 4 years ago, and told he had a 55-60% chance of survival. He was only ten. When the symptoms first came on, I was scared it was leukemia, and basically cried hysterically. My husband and daughter told me I was overreacting, that I always overreact, and would I calm down already, that he was probably fine. The doctor we took him to also thought I was overreacting. Well, he didn't get better, and I insisted, a month later, on a blood test. The doctor, who we later found out was not a doctor at all (we were living in India and didn't understand the system there) still thought I was overreacting. Well, we did the blood test, and it was indeed leukemia, and the worst kind, AML (55-60% survival rate after five years).

He did the treatment, including a bone marrow transplant, and did well for three years.

We moved back to America a year and a half ago, and about a year ago I started having to run, and I mean run, to the bathroom. This went on for a few months, and finally I developed cramping and diarrhea. My husband told me to go to the doctor. I said no, I would just stop eating dairy, as I wondered if that was the root cause. My husband said okay, go ahead and stop dairy, but still see the doctor. Well, I went to see the doctor, and he told me based on my symptoms, it sounded like I had end stage colon cancer. Then he did an abdominal exam and thought he felt a lump on my abdomen. He sent me for a multiphase CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis.

I just cried and cried. I wondered who would take care of my five children.

The results of the scan appeared normal. He then sent me for a colonoscopy, with endoscopy and biopsies of the stomach and a test for celiac disease. The tests came back saying just mild gastritis.

In the meantime, I had stopped dairy, and after five days I noticed I wasn't running to the bathroom anymore. Then I started reading about CT scans, something I knew nothing about. I read online that some doctors think they cause cancer. I went into a panic.

I just cried and cried and cried. And I refused to eat. And finally my daughter said I had to find a counselor, because I was just crying hysterically. I went to the counselor and she told me I had medical paranoia. She said it is true that people get terrible illnesses, and that is very sad. She said that we can try to be responsible and protect ourselves by eating a healthy Diet and exercising, but no one can be sure they will not get a terrible disease. She said we have to accept this risk in life.

I am going to stop a new post, to continue this. Thank you.