SoulfulSurvivor,
Thank you for everything you wrote in your message above. You are right, maybe means nothing at this point and I can't go back in time. Hypervigilance, this is a term I have never heard of.. I did look up the definition, and it completely fits my situation. This is a step in the right direction, knowing that this is real, and not just my mind playing games on me. Thanks so much for your help.