One month on NB

I find myself wandering at midnight around the almost hollow city. It has been raining and everything its melancholically wet. At the beginning, im not feeling that bad, in fact im thinking about what a great night for being drunk this would be. I make a pause to play around with the free-gym devices of plastic and metal in the park, no one around to see my foolery. I also take a bamboo stick and start walking in a ridiculous manner, like parading with my staff with the rhythm that my mp3 dictates, slightly smiling even. Later on, the tears that have been shining in my eyes find a way to escape in brief amounts and I will be sobbing in the streets, pouting like that muslim child of which I am a support teacher. During this time, I also think in my grandparents, which I visited today, how consumed and tired they are starting to look and its painful to realize how much I need some warmth and belonging with my family, which I only had to some degree as a child. This night I am miserable but I dont want anyone with me or at least thats how I feel. I end "earthing" with barefeet in a grass parcel in an empty park until a dog owner appears and I flee.