hi terre
am sorry to hear about your son and your dillema.. I have had the same issue 4 years ago.. about my daughter's decayed teeth.. it was against my will to get her sedated (she was only 18 months old then).. the dentist told me she will only extract one tooth she ended up extracting 2 teeth and putting crowns on another 2 front teeth.
The 2 front teeth with crowns broke after 2 months.. for which I cried endlessly fo rmy daughter.. for having to put her through that trauma..
I can imagine how terrible you feel these days....I will also pray that your husband come around and knock some sense into his own head..