Nothing helps me... I'v tried anything

And I feel like...excuse me... like shit. I tried a 13 days waster fast recentely, I didn't feel even my body is tring to detox in any way. I've been throught dry fasting in the past of 25 hours each (Because I'm jewish, we usually dry fast once a year although in the past 2 years I decided to drink water only in those fasts). I sick my life already and I've nothing to lose because I feel like dying all the time. everything had already been taken from me for the past 14 years since adulthood (I'm almost 26).I don't feel like me anymore, I lost myself and my functioning is very unstable, can't handle it anymore.

Any support will help. and wish me luck because this is my last resort. I'm going to dry fast for 48 hours this weekend (from 8th to 10th) with one day water only before and after this dry fast. I hope god will be with me this time because if God wants me I think he almost finished his job.

I like doing things safe that's why I dry fast only for 2 days, I don't know how I'll react to 48 hours. I'm a student - real problem because I need to be active most of the time. I've been fasting those 13 days when I was doing things as ordinarily, was hard for me but still feel like ****.

Please support if you can.