It is verry tough. I was raped when i was about 10 by a verry close family friend and it took me a least 3 years to start getting over it. I to have a boyfriend and hes helped me alot. I'm 19 now and i stil have flashbacks but im doing alot better. You'll pull through it. I throught about the same way about my boyfriend now that i look back i'm glad i kept him becauce, i don't know how i would have made it through without him.