Re: I just don't know what to do or think.

Older dude here.

It will get better, trust me.

Quit chasin' her tail, but stay a friend that does not have any "love" type emotions attached to the friendship. If you can't give her up, try to stay unavailable for her to live your own life your own way. Women will come and go! The main idea is to get a grip of your emotions and make them work for you, not let them lead you. Love wisdom comes with age and it will come in a few years. The raging love feeling will subside and you'll be free from its torment.

From your language, you see yourself as worth-less than reality. You also explained in your post that you "knew" in advance that she's not into you, from the beginning, like you are in to her. By your attitude of feeling worth-less than you really are, it manifests in your decisions, actions, body language, and persona. You can't provide what she's looking for in a mate, someone strong, stable, and able to handle her baggage.

We are all children, never really growing up. The ones that say they did, lie! People generally even out emotionally during their mid-20s, especially when hormones that influence emotions decrease.

My point is, find things that make you happy, chase other tail, and enjoy every moment as if it were your last.

One of the things that hurts people is attachments in this world. You can't see them, but you make them. You've made an attachment to this girl and her rejective personality keeps you coming back for more pain. It's up to you to manifest this attachment in your mind as an awareness and decide how to proceed. Emotionally, what do you really want?