Re: Been awhile since last post(1 yr 8 months post)

Hi,
I have read almost all of your posts. Scary stuff. I am almost 1 year post removal and still having a hard time. I agree with you that I don't think it will ever be the same. I don't know how to get back to who I was before all this. I also think the sickness is so engraved in my head that sometimes I can make it seem worse than it may be just like you. I know I will never forget this and therefore probably never fully recover I gave up all hope. I was such a nice caring happy woman before, now I am full of anxiety sadness and many other isues that don't seem too bad in comparision to the anxiety and sadness. I am no where near who I used to be. It sucks. I was feeling a little better at times but over all not right which makes it worse thinking about it. I gave up trying to get better, I gave up on doctors, I am just waiting for each day to pass in hopes tomorrow will be ok. I do see a light at the end of the tunnel because I have improved since a year ago. I don't have attacks anymore or the lump in my throat but it is still not right. I really do just want to give up because I really think I can never go back to the normal person that I was and that makes me feel bad and guilty and very sad.I have made a fool out of myself at my job & in front of my family. My poor hubby deserves better. I can't and won't spend the rest of my life like this. Who knows what will happen anyways sorry for this depressing post but I have NO ONE left to go to because I now try to fake that I am ok, therefore I can no longer talk about it. I give up. Sorry.
Anyways to answer your question, yes I am on birth control pills (low dose) ever since the removal I can't say if it's good or bad. I think it might be why I am still struggling so much but I am afraid to stop taking them because I might fall further. Good luck, I wish you the best. Again, sorry for this bad post.