Re: I'm confused too - I bet we can get unconfused :) Re: :::sigh::: no can do, just the Cape Aloe...Re: Just Cape Aloe instead of IF#1?

Thank you for taking the time to explain that Uny.

I have to admit that yes, I've been a little frustrated, but it's because I keep feeling like I'm hitting road blocks with the protocol. I feel happy and hopeful as long as I have a "next step". When I can't seem to figure out the next step it's common for me to feel depressed and frustrated. The entirety of my healing "plan" since i've been home is to send out little feelers and try things carefully. If something doesn't work I bring my feeler back in, recover, and then send my feeler out in a new direction. This is how I recovered from two months in October and November when I could barely lift my finger. When I walked around my house I walked bent over at my waste because I didn't have the energy to hold the rest of my body up. My face was permanently scrunched up and I had a dead feeling that permeated every cell of my body that barely ever went away. It was what others who have been there describe as "living hell". It was remarkably scary.

While I spiraled downwards over the last year there were many times that I thought I was out of the red and then I made the wrong move and spiralled downwards even more, rather quickly. I don't feel like I'm even remotely close to being out of the red now, even though I spend most of my days feeling pretty good now, as long as I don't try to do much, move too fast or push myself.

So, part of my reasoning behind wanting to do the aloe was because I have an understanding of how it affects my body, so it's a smaller leap that I have to make. I know that it won't make my stomach or my bladder hurt thus affecting my sleep. Sleeping well feels more important for me than just about anything.

The other thing that I was concerned about was the possibility of getting constipated while I figured out my IF#1 dosage. I was picturing that I would stop the triphalla completely to start the IF#1 and my fear was that, because I'm sensitive to garlic, that I wouldn't be able to tollerate enough to have a bowel movement and there I would be, constipated AND reactive to the garlic. And that fear comes from the last time that I tried to transfer over from triphalla to primal defense as suggested by a practitioner that I was contemplating working with. That one or two days of experimenting cost me a month of severe bowel pain. So can you see why I might be a little apprehensive about shaking things up? :)

So, it seems to me like you are suggesting that I could add the IF#1 to the amount of triphalla that I currently take to see what that does and then go from there. That feels mucho safer than stopping the triphalla completely to try the IF#1. I feel much more comfortable with that.

I want to explain one more thing involving my apprehension with the garlic, Ginger and peppers. I'm living with my mother who has had interstitial cystitis for 20 years. She can't eat many things without her bladder having searing pain. She also can't breathe new carpets, new cars, new paint, etc without her bladder hurting. I have no idea what's going on with my bladder and urethra but I keep hearing my mother say, "that's how my IC started...". Every time I mention garlic or Ginger she cringes. Ive never had a burning bladder or urethra before. I don't know what is going on. It had stopped for a few days and then I juiced a little bit of Ginger and it was back burning again. Now, it could be a coincidence or it could be that I'm sensitive to Ginger now. I just don't want to do anything that will get me stuck in an inflammatory condition in my bladder like my mother. Because I haven't been able to find any information about what causes it, but I know for certain what exacerbates it (garlic, Ginger, hot peppers, tomatoes, etc.) it feels safer to eliminate those things for now. Also, the two times recently that my bladder hurt the worst was right after I had cooked with Ginger and tomato...

And then lastly, I still don't know how to approach the grain alcohol part of all of the tinctures. Can I just use the tea for the kidney flush? I want to use the tincture. I want to use all of your tinctures, but I'm not comfortable with ingesting any amount of gluten, however small.

So, that's where I'm at. I feel a little stuck between a rock and a hard place. I really want to do this program and I really like this forum. Healing with herbs feels like it resonates with who i am. I just don't know how to incorporate it safely right now, which is frustrating to me. But its not the first time that I've felt stuck or frustrated while trying to heal and it certainly won't be my last.