Dude. I was in the very depths of hell... in total anxiety 24/7.. living in my head all the time.. hypersensitive to every thing I said, saw, did, ate.. etc.. etc.. thought I was a dead man many times. Whelp... I just passed a bunch more flukes and about 10 more stones... it's insane I was even alive imo.
You'll get there too, dude. Just be rested assured now that someone your age was there in the same situation, and I'm almost to the end, finally.