Free from a BPD relationship or not?

This is my story:
I moved out of my gf's house a few months ago. I had lived there for almost a year. I moved eveything I own from St Louis to KCMO where she lives, making a huge change in my life to be with her. After moving out we started to talk again I went back to visit a few times and we talked about me moving back in. She really sounded like this is what she wanted. I wanted this too. Our relationship was very strong sexually, actually the best ever. I never felt a stronger bond with anyone else. The problem was we disagreed on a lot of things outside of the bedroom. I felt I made huge sacrifices to be with her and she was not willing to make very many and this lead to a lot of heated arguments.

I was planning to move everything I owned back into her house after Thanksgiving. We got into an argument over something very trivial that she started. We texted bad things back and forth all day and finally I told here if she couldn't apologize I had to leave for good. She laughed at me about the apology so to make a long story short I left not really wanting to. I was totally in love with this woman but tired of fighting. I wanted to cut all ties with her but she kept calling and calling.

A week ago I was going to work in Kansas for a few days. I left on Sunday night because I had to be there early in the morning. When I was driving she called me crying. She told me she missed me badly and still loved me. This made me feel really good. We planned that I would drive back through KC on my way back to St Louis so we could be together for a few days.

This is where it gets crazy. On Monday evening we are talking on the phone. Good conversation just like old times. She sends me a link to Craigslist to check out the ad she posted. I knew she was looking for a roomate to help her with the bills. I clicked on the link and she had posted an ad in the Casual Encounters section saying how she was looking for a hot blonde woman with big tits to help her with her girl on girl fantasy, complete with naked pics of her hot body. I looked at this and was shocked. We had talked about her fantasy before but this made me feel very jealous. She got mad and told me this was about her not me. Pretty much hurt my feelings since we planned to see each other in a few days.

Now we weren't talking again. She texts me Saturday telling me what a selfish ass I was because of her CL ad and says she never wants to talk to me again. Yesterday I looked at her Facebook page. It says that she is now""in a relationship" with the guy she went out with before her and I met. This weasel looking dude has been waiting on the sidelines ever since her and I met, wanting to get back with her. I flew into a rage. I was going to go to KC and remove this guy from the picture but after I calmed down i decided this was not a good thing to do.

Since yesterday I have been pretty upset over all of this. I know I should forget her and move forward but it's just not that easy for me. I still love her and it kills me to think of the woman of my dreams to be with someone else. Am I wrong for feeling this way? What the hell is going on in her head? Why does she want to toy with my emotions? I just don't understand. I want to move on with my life but it's very hard. Any advice would be helpful.


This is my problem:

I know I cannot be with this woman but I can't stop thinking about her. Now that I look back, the best part of the relationship was the sex. It seemed that we were so much alike on other things but I'm not so sure that wasn't minipulation to draw me into her web. I still feel like I love her and feel jealous about her being with someone else: although yesterday I did write the other guy a letter and intend to mail it to him. It contains information that I have learned about BPD and how she has many symptoms of this disorder. should I send this to him?

Thank's, Bunk Tweet