Re: Can't take life anymore

The thing is I've taken an xray in the past year and my liver looked larger than normal. There were three other guys I worked with who went to the hospital with me (all of us were expats and needed the xray and health check to get a workpermit). My liver xray looked larger than the other guys, they were even joking about it. But the doctor told me everything was fine with my liver.

Anyways, so far I've gone just over a week without taking any mdma, and it's been a few days since I've smoked any weed. I had some shrooms an alcohol Saturday night but after that I haven't had any drugs or alcohol. Haven't had any cravings either. The only thing I can't stop at the moment is cigarettes. Just went to the store to buy another pack and I hate myself for it. But cigarettes are like my only friend now. It's difficult to describe my relationship with them, but I just feel less lonely when I have them. I know that sounds weird, but I have absolutely zero real friends at the moment.

I also got some probiotics today. I got Jameson with 30 billion, and Trophic Acidophilus with 7 Billion. I also got a multivitamin and omega 3 supplement. I also decided to do a cleanse. I picked up cleanse smart colon and liver cleanse. I'm still eating 'bad' foods, had McDonalds for breakfast, steak n fries for lunch, and this evening had a little ground beef and more fries. Junk food and cigarettes are the two vices in my life that are really difficult for me to give up. I get cravings for fast food and I just have to get some. But I know I have to stop.