You should try to do some anal kegels to help tighten your anus. Someone suggested it to me because of a post and I must say there is a bit of a difference. Also it helps for the next time around ;). But I cant really answer your question because I have never had a male on female experience before but I know that some women douche afterwards. I just hop in the shower or use a wash cloth. Maybe an enema and some kegels afterward would help tighten your anus.
Also do some research in triphala. It helps with colon care, worth a good read. Hope this helps and wish you all of the best.