Last Time Posting this message

I apologize for not telling this information to anybody. Long story.
I regret this VERY MUCH! I have been going through this neck (swollen, numb) pain/numbness ever since Friday, of Jan 7, 2005 around 5:11 P.M Eastern Time. That's going on FIVE years almost. I should be locked up and behind bars for telling this story & not letting anyone know about this. So, I have been keeping this a secret that involves my life or my death. I should have wrote this report of this dirty health secret of myself the day after this mess happened. But, deep down inside, I was scared, guilty, nervous, crying, angry, & depressed, that all these emotions prevented me from
going to the doctor about this, or telling anyone about this detailed story,
or writing this self-report of a possible disease and faking (feigning) happiness &
joy when I am around other people I worked, played, spend time with. I could not TRUST anyone.
The sad thing about it is I have never ever told anyone about this except my former
High School Nurse (just told her about "something there in my neck and that was all"). She just told me to eat fruits and vegetables.
But, honestly, I couldn't hardly afford to eat any fruits and vegetables and even to this day I'm breaking slowly out of those conventional, deadly food trends and I am trying to go organic very slowly.
Normally, if this was a serious matter, it would probably be spread sexually unprotected sex wise, go through openings, like eyes, nose, mouth, ears, or broken skin, or passed through dirty needles (sharp objects). But, this was not my case and has not happened to me. The reason for this (of me keeping this matter to myself)
is because I don't want to be discriminated on, I want to protect my privacy of my health,
not deal & face any kind of stigma whatsoever, not become isolated from society & perhaps my own classmates, aquaitnances, authority & family. Every time I accidentally hurt myself, I do the best that I can to conceal the scar or mark using alcohol or antiseptic. And I try to not to touch people's body parts.

This all first started when I was in the Bank of America on Little Creek Road Norfolk, VA (Jan 7th, 2005). When I was waiting for
my relative to finish her banking business, I accidentally bumped
into the desk that is in front of the main entrance way in the bank.
My index finger collided with this reddish, thick, particle substance and I
realized that I picked up someone's blood. I was pondering
and Nervous, scared for the whole 2-5 minutes thinking that I could catch
something like a bacterial or a viral infection the next day, or two, or three & I was in this kind of MY DEATH SENTENCE.
And today, this minute, I am scared that I might possibly die from this mysterious neck pain,
I keep thinking that I will never meet girls, travel around the world, serve in the military, pursue a career in computers, or music
or anything in that nature.

Then the next minute, I put saliva on my finger to see what effect it would have on the
blood I picked up. (I heard that saliva is susposed to contain a special enzyme that is susposed to kill the radicals, bacteria, viruses, etc. on tact of the skin.)
The index finger that caught the blood sample, the pores were closed,
nor the skin was not broken. (Maybe I figured out that blacks are more prone to catch microorganisms more than any race in the world because of our thick skin). While I was in the car, I wrapped the possible contaminated finger with an antibacterial wipe, so no particles would go anywhere. The next 2-3 minutes, I was driven
home and I got out of the car quickly & I stormed into the bathroom ignoring everybody that was in my path. I was in there and I turned on the bathroom faucet, full force for the hot running water to come out,
so I kept my finger under there for around 4-5 minutes, hoping that the hot water would destroy possible contaminants from the blood.
By the time I was finished, I sprayed a little disinfectant on the finger and went back to normal. I did not feel any neck (numbness) pain the next day, nor the next day after that. However, Monday morning I thought
that I just had a neck cramp. Then the next day it went on & on & on to this present day. And that is when I knew that I was in HELL!
I don't know what to do. I have no one to turn to! Once again, I am ALL OF THE ABOVE: Scared, Shocked, Nervous, Guilty, in Fear, Depression, Angry and SICK (I guess)!
During that time, I didn't hardly have any health insurance. I even feared that if I made an immediate trip to the doctor, or hospital, they would check on it & if I tested positive
for their diagnosis, they would put me on MEDICATION that could DO HARM than GOOD and possibly kill me! Which would also lead me to a possible debt of medical bills! There's got to be a way to cure this never ending condition.
I thought about doing it naturally (God- given way). This problem happens to me like 95- 98 percent of the time. Once in a while, the neck numbness stops.
What am I going to do, world? Can I cure, or treat this naturally instead of killing myself? My neck just can't seem to rest! It's going on 4 years now ever since I had it, I'm afraid to say
anything because if I do, I'll face SEVERE consequences. I haven't really never went to a health store. Thank you.

Mike M.
michaelamurray1@yahoo.com

P.S. All I want to do is to get to the bottom of this, so I can move on with my life! Please someone help me! I'm not no bad guy, Lord, and I never want to be one. I just want to move on with my life.
and that's all. I made mistakes in my life, but please forgive me, so Ill move on from here. Around May 2008, I got tested for Hepatits B and C. I never had sex in all my 23 years on this Earth or used any contanimated needles. The lab results turned out to be normal, however, the neck pain (numbness) still remains virtually every day (90-95 percent of the time nearly these five years). It occurs at the deep, right side of the neck near the spinal area. Maybe it could be a damaged nerve caused
by some friggin' microorganism. I should have saw a doctor about this matter long time ago. What held me back were various things, once again ( worrying about life & death over medicine, & possibility of being falsely diagnosed, the stigma I would face for the rest of my life from own family, friends, occupation (work & school environment), the possible death sentence I would have to endure. Peace & love.
Recently, since August 2009, I finally found a lead in my research on this unknown condition that I have gone through. One of the leads I found is called a condition called Transverse Myelitis & Multiple sclerosis. Once again, I am not a doctor, I am not diagnosing myself, but I am suggesting that this could lead to this medical condition. Plus, I done some research stating that HHV-6A is the virus that could be behind all of this!! Going on with my constant neck numb, painful & tingling sensation, screwing around with the myelin located in the neck region. Anyway, soon I will talk to the doctor about this & I doubt that it could be HIV behind this (due to Luc Montaglier) saying that HIV can be cleared naturally. Just don't want to be another statistic, that's all! No more of this! updated 5-2-2010 Tweet