My narcissistic father wants me to call him.

The thought of it gives me anxiety. Seriously, my heart starts pounding. LOL I'm normally not an anxiety type person.

It was his idea months ago to keep in contact by letters and he said he wasn't good on the phone. So I agreed and said I hated the phone to as I don't know what to say.

Every other letter has a different "tone" or mood swing to it. He's either Mr.NiceGuy, Mr.A**H0le. or Mr.PoorMe. So on the phone would be 10x worse.

Now he says he wants me to call, he's sick of writing letters as he's sick of standing in line at the post office and runs out of stamps. LOL. We have automatic stamp machines at my post office and if you leave mail in the mailbox, the mailman takes it away and mails it. So whatever.

Anyway, kind of scared because I have issues with my mother. Yes, I'm over 18 and living at "home" because I got screwed by the economy among other thngs like most people. When things were really bad a few months ago and I was really sick of her..I sent a letter to my father asking if his new house had an extra room because I was sick of my state. He hates NewEngland, he bashes it all the time talking about how he hates the shitty weather, the people, etc. So I took that opportunity and told him he was "right" and I hate the weather and if he has an extra room then I'd like to go there.

So letter #1 he tells me I can't because I would cost him too much money. Then every letter since then, he's hinting at how much I would like it there, sends me pics and pamphlets of things, asks me what color he should paint his extra room for when I "visit"..LOL Um Ok. So I wonder if he wants to talk about that if I call. I haevn't seen this guy in like 20 years yet I'd live with him? LOL. Yes, I was THAT pissed off at my mother.

Then again.. its been days and I haven't called yet and he knows I got the mail since he sent it certified. So he'll be pissed off about that anyway.

ugh..... what have I done. Tweet