Waking up alone again

Hello if anybody is really reading this crap. Well sometimes...I wake up like today..dunno maybe I dreamed about when I was happy....maybe just feeling sorry for myself not sure. I know there was a time when I woke up like this there was someone there to tell me its ok and run her hands though my hair and hold me till I went back to sleep again. Sometimes I would need that and sometimes she would need that. Now any other day I would say umbug and brush it a side and I have and do do that for 3 years now. I know Im gonna wish I hadnt wrote this but screw it want be the first time I wished that. Well anyways that is the way i REALLY feel. If anyone would like to talk or have any input I would appreciate that.