new to here

Hello.. I am new to this forum... I am a 28 year old female and believe I suffer from BPD. I was diagnosed with it when I was 14, but have always fought/argued that it wasn't true. I've always believed that my issues stem from how my parents treated me. I wasn't horribly abused and never sexually. But there was frequent punishment and spankings and yelllings. Mainly coldness and distance on their part. I went into a Depression I guess when I was 14, perhaps hormones too. They hospitalized me over and over and over, as a way I believe to get rid of me because it was so flagrant. Not to mention the mountains of medication. I gained a ton of weight in a month, got stretch marks and lactated from my left breast....
Since the hospitalizations I've struggled in school and relationships. Still at 28 I harbor a lot of anger or angst and tend to frequently over do the drinking... I've struggled with jobs and am still struggling with college.
I've read a lot about BPD and seem to fit a good majority of the criteria.
Although I consistently feel lost and confused and don't know what to do or how to do or deal... or what I am even capable of accomplishing.
I guess what I need is clarification as to my condition and advice or resources on dealing with it so that I can get on to having the most successful life possible for myself.

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