Re: Bipolar disorder and seeking help!

The following is a blog by a woman who was institutionalized and medicated many times for mental illness - including bipolar.  It is an amazing story of her recovery through meditation.  She tried many different meditations and found one that worked for her.  

After my own experiences and recovery from PTSD I'm convinced that many people simply don't understand this traumatic disorder that gets buried in our being as we deny the real effect of events in our lives.  Yet many people who think this condition applies only to others are also affected by it.

I recommend this site for anyone who has bipolar, anxiety, or any similar condition.  If nothing else it is a great read as well as inspirational.

I've copied only a portion of what the woman went through - the rest is at the site.

http://intentions.wordpress.com/about/

.......The diagnoses?  Dual Axis 1: Manic Depression, or Bipolar Disorder 1 and Schizo-affective Disorder co morbid with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

After eight years of clinical psychotherapy, three psychiatric hospitalizations, four years spent in residential treatment centers, group homes, mental health lock downs and six months of involuntary medications of perphenazine and lithium carbonate I remained absolutely and completely lost.

Modern psychiatry had completely failed to help me heal from suicidal depression or any of my problems at all. In fact, the violation and mistreatment I experienced while in the juvenile mental health system only made me worse in every way.

As a young adult my life played out as though my psychiatrist was granted with oracular vision. The suicide attempts came about once every two years. I failed at life in every way imaginable. I was a complete loser. I could not keep a job or a relationship due to my temper. I was in trouble with the law. I used people up. I burned family members and got in debt. I developed drug habits to cope with the voices in my head and the flashbacks.

For the longest time it was me against everyone. It was everyone else’s  fault for making my life so miserable. I had long since forgot about the labels and diagnoses. I was not a good, compliant mental health patient. I would have nothing to do with psychologists or psychiatrists. I did not think I had a problem, per se. It was just the way the world was and how I was born it seemed at the time. It was my lot in life.

Soon after my 2oth birthday I tried one last time to kill myself and get it right. I nearly succeeded and in the process I had a near death experience the effects of which changed my life. While I was physically and mentally recovering from the massive overdose I had a lot of time to think about the meaning of life and being alive. I moved to California soon after and started my life all over........................

(rest of story including complete recovery at the web site)