Re: need help! can't break free

Bless your heart.  From my perspective, I see that you are overwrought with guilt and obligation.  As you said, you feel you need to do "what is right."  This could be due to the religious lifestyle and/or upbringing you have had. 

Normally, I would say, if you love each other and if you are both willing to do all it takes to save the relationship, work it out.  But frankly, it doesn't look like this man has it in him.  There are huge issues here, issues that are highly unlikely to ever end.  From your post I also see that your self esteem is down to zero.

I am going to tell you to follow your heart.  Not your guilt or sense of obligation.  Follow your heart.  Now, I am not telling you to necessarily run into the arms of another.  Do some deep instrospection with regard to this other man.  Do you really love him, or was he just there for you during a time of great need?  Only you can answer this question and this answer should guide you to either be with him or start a new life on your own.

Frankly, I just do not see any hope for your marriage.  My advice to you is to stop the torment.  And shed the guilt.

Luella