Re: Bad marriage, no children

Are you in the US? If so, call 1-800-799-SAFE. It's the Domestic Abuse Hotline. Tell them everything that you've written here. Also, let them know you're really afraid of him. They can help you get into a local shelter for abused women. Your husband won't find you because these shelters are very careful to never publish their addresses. Also, the hotline can give you guidance regarding getting a restraining order against your husband.

Unless your mother's diabetes is uncontrolled and is in very poor health, she should be able to move. Since she is retired, I assume she is getting Social Security or a pension of some kind? Or are you her sole support?

If you are unable to get into a women's shelter because it's currently full, then the hotline can advise you on how to take steps to get away from your husband without him being aware. These steps involve gradually putting some money aside (without his knowledge), gradually getting your belongings out of the house (such as clothing, important documents, photos, etc.). Only take irreplaceable items.

It's too bad that your husband doesn't realize that he has a problem. If he were aware, then you could convince him to get some counseling. However, if he is as violent as you say, suggesting counseling to him would only set him off.

Good luck and get going. Make that call. If you are not in the US but in an overseas base, then look into what resources there are to help you. In recent years, the military has stepped up to the plate and put services in place to help families in crisis. Tweet