There's a door. When you make a choice like this, it's like you step through some invisible cosmic portal door thing. Sounds airy fairy Californian, but I did it, so I know it's there. Whether you close the door behind you and keep going on that path is up to you, but somehow, making that decision really does change you.
What I see for you is that you've decided to build your city on a hill. What a glorious sight (and site) you will be.
Congratulations, sister. I can't wait to watch your transformation unfold.