Kundalini awakening after unrequited love : forget it or pursue it?

So, I had a "manic episode" according to my psychiatrist.

I got to know someone and it's like he entered my subconscious mind for a few months, then one day, I woke up energized and desiring him physically. I declared this desire and it got rejected.

It ruined me. I couldn't eat without gagging for days. Wild crying. My body had all this sexual energy it was insane.

It was like my memory shot off one night and a bunch of old trauma was released.

I then took a spontaneous trip to another country to try to forget about my thwarted love. It was amazing.

When I got back, I was so disgusted with the Western capitalist way of living that it set me off with horrible crying again.

Then the "delusions" started. I woke up one morning and I thought God wanted me to send some complements to the man I fell in love with. It was like a mystic experience, light all around, the atmosphere light, my body light. I could see myself for one minute (out of body) in a white dress, light all around me like an angel. They were beautiful complements I sent.

Then : I went psychotic. I thought someone had hidden a camera in my closet. I also thought I was psychic.

I thought God was sending me the message that this man had fallen in love with me.

Then for months I would get these strange psychic flashes, like the atmosphere would get all light and I would "know" that that person was in love with me or thinking of me.


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