Re: Fasting to Stop Compulsive Overeating (progress!)

Most of us have got some issues to work through. I mean, look around you. Everyone seems flawless.

I have been told I am a very sick girl. I have been diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia. It was nice of them to diagnose me. They feel good this way. They do their job and they also make me sick, and they make themselves sick, and we all sit around in self disgust, pity, and healing. Great. What a forum.

I am skipping circles, with bunnies weaving between my ankles and flowers dribbling out of my mouth, around The Point.

Fasting is an extreme. It's thoughtless. You do not have to deal with food at all. It is thus parallel to compulsive overeating as--a soulmate; Compulsive Overeating and Fasting met each other as the Match!--because compulsive overeating as a label indicates that food has migrated from its role as life source to--something else. Either way, your relationship with food is completely f***ed. And I mean balance is necessary in all parts and mini parts and wholes of life--without it, you just get knocked off the wheel. Nature kicks you out. Your body is going to be comletely disgusted with you (and I am talking to you, I suppose, Laury, and I am not trying to be presumptuous, but it's a little necessary. I am not trying to Change your Mind. Well--I have boundless pride, so that's a lie.) if you are overfeeding it (actually, it might enjoy this to an extent, energy is pretty beneficial), and if you aren't feeding it at all for days on end. And I think you were getting at, in your post, that one cannot rightfully separate the body and the mind--or that by fasting, you were purging your mind of all that guilt and messiness made by your former disordered eating. and i don't know anything about that. i am not diagnosing you. i don't think. i'm trying to understand. i think i understand, as far as i can.

anyway. the only reason you find being thin empowering is because society sees thinness as a sign of power. blah blah blah. and it's been that way for centuries, i'll admit. but if you think about it dear, overeating takes as much willpower as not eating, even if you like to think it was the easy route. you might as well, as i think i have articulated, look at fasting as the easy route as well. just by doing this, you know you're a better person. it's unquestionable. you can talk to people and be in the moment and listen to what they have to say because you don't even have to deal with the food shit anymore. you are aloof. or underground. whatever.

So fasting feels so good, you won't stop. isn't that weakness? shouldn't you be ashamed? nah. not if you don't want to be. i mean, i've come to a point in my own life where i honestly think that there are more satisfying and therefore important 'things'--anythings--than my own identity, but that's just me. there are only more important things than your own f***ing ego if you allow them to be important. power is sweet, i know. as i've said, i am anorexic and bulimic, and i use these terms, not to make myself a generic label--i am comfortable using these terms becuase i know in my own self that i am but more importantly for this discussion that i am not the same as other people--but to endeavor communication. i am sorry. i feel i am vomiting my idealogy all over the place. but's that's good.

just--don't validate it. be honest with yourself. i feel you were making all of these lame excuses--"and thus eliminating bacterial problems int the intestinal system, and thus ending the crave to overeat"; "that thiness itself is never dangerous and it is vitally important for the world to understand this"--you know what? the world doesn't give a f*** how f***ing thin you are. it doesn't care how dead you are. how confindent in your deadness. you died thin. great. wonderful. you're perfect. hypothetically speaking, of course.

and for the record, drugs are excellent. i think i've iterated that message several times as well--in that if food is a drug, than fasting is a drug, and love is a drug, and relationships are drugs, and i am always HIGH ON LIFE (not really). think about it. or not.

actually, i have to criticize your message a little. sorry. i am not trying to hurt you, you know? i just--here.