Re: My first hot flashes....I think
As one who is getting hot flashes, the memory loss had me scared, too. However, I recently read that the memory problems are temporary. Once you're really through with menopause, it seems the memory improves once again. (It was a relief to read that!).
As for hot flashes, I also read that one can expect to have them from 2 to 5 years. I don't take anything for mine as they aren't extremely bothersome. If I'm at home (that's where they most happen), I either throw off the blanket when in bed or when awake, I just take my shirt off :). When I told my doctor I only took off my shirt when I was at home, she said "thank you!"
Recently, some studies have appeared that seem to say that soy supplements aren't that effective as was once believed, for hot flashes. Some people take black cohosh. You may want to google that and see what you think.
IMO, if your main reason for going on hormones is your memory loss issues, again, the memory loss is temporary. I'd be very concerned about taking hormones given that your mother had breast cancer.