As one who is getting hot flashes, the memory loss had me scared, too. However, I recently read that the memory problems are temporary. Once you're really through with menopause, it seems the memory improves once again. (It was a relief to read that!).

As for hot flashes, I also read that one can expect to have them from 2 to 5 years. I don't take anything for mine as they aren't extremely bothersome. If I'm at home (that's where they most happen), I either throw off the blanket when in bed or when awake, I just take my shirt off :). When I told my doctor I only took off my shirt when I was at home, she said "thank you!"

Recently, some studies have appeared that seem to say that soy supplements aren't that effective as was once believed, for hot flashes. Some people take black cohosh. You may want to google that and see what you think.

IMO, if your main reason for going on hormones is your memory loss issues, again, the memory loss is temporary. I'd be very concerned about taking hormones given that your mother had breast cancer.

I haven't had any experiences with hot flashes, but the memory loss really scared me too. I didn't know this was a menopause symptom when it first started with me, so you can imagine the crazy thoughts I had. I did a lot of research and decided to try an herbal route for my problem. I used Gingko Biloba for about 3 months and this cleared up that problem. Now, if I can just find solutions to all the other problems. : )

Ok, this sounds totally crazy, but I think I found out the problem.....

I have issues with Vitamin D. Whenever I take it, I get seriously depressed, to the point where I can't get out of bed. On top of that, I am very deficient in it, so it makes no sense that it affects me like this, but it does.

A herbalist told me that Vitamin D affects hormones.

After the Depression got so bad that I couldn't handle it anymore, I stopped taking it....

And my hot flashes have gone away!