Feel like a disappointment...

My grandmother died over a year ago. We were extremely close and she was like a second mother to me, so I took her death extremely hard. I feel guilty because I all but forced her to go on a trip to Switzerland to visit her brother.

She kept saying she didn't want to go because she just knew something bad was going to happen. She went and contracted some sort of infection. She came straight from the airport to the hospital and died a couple of weeks later.

Now, I constantly feel like I disappoint her. My life is good, and I work hard and never do anything "questionable" but I often feel like I'm not doing enough, or my outlook is not right and she'd be disappointed in me, or is looking down on me in disapproval. I don't know why I feel this way. It may be the guilt.

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