Re: Long-Term Girlfriend Molested as a Child, Hurting our Relationship

It sounds like she's been through a lot. If she is bipolar, that is most likely exacerbating the situation. She really needs to get back into counseling and do it for herself, not for someone else. Perhaps her Depression is holding her back and making her unmotivated.

Tell her you want her to get better---both physically and mentally but she needs to take the first step and do it for her own sake. She could call a hotline such as a rape crisis one as a first step. If she goes to counseling and doesn't click with the counselor, then she shouldn't hesistate to find another one.

Offer to sit with her when she calls the hotline. If she decides on her own that she needs counseling, offer to go with her for support. By that I mean, you will wait in the waiting room for her while she is in her appointment.

If she has a regular doctor that she sees, try to get her to make an appointment to discuss her physical ailments. If she agrees to do that, you could call her doctor's office. When you do, tell the person on the phone who you are and let him/her know what concerns you have for your girlfriend. Obviously, the doctor's office won't share any personal info with you so let him/her know you are aware of this. You're only calling to give them a heads up about her problems and her depression. If the doctor has this info, then s/he can bring them up during the course of the check-up.

Other than that, I really don't know what else you can do. Only she can make that decision to get help and get mentally and physically healthy.

You have to decide if you want to stay with her if she refuses to get help. Think ahead to the future and what it will be like if she won't get help. Do you really think that you can live that way indefinitely? Tweet