Re: help please!

You've been with him since you were 18 or 19. Don't you think you should get out and meet other people? It sounds like he doesn't behave like the rest of his family, and that's good. However, why should you and he have to support his irresponsible family? His parents are people who despite not having money, went ahead and brought another child into this world that they can't support---and that's very wrong. I think your parents are concerned because they know what your life will be like if you marry him.

If you do marry him and end up having to support his parents and brother, it won't be long before you feel (and rightfully so) resentful. What happens if you decide to start your own family and crunch the numbers only to find that the burden of supporting his family means you can't start one of your own?

Yes, it's sad that the one who suffers the most in this is your BF's baby brother. He didn't ask to be brought into this world, but then again, none of us did. It's one thing if you did marry BF and every so often you bought clothes for the baby or at holiday times or birthdays, gifted his parents with a gift card for a supermarket---if you can afford to do this. But to be expected to support people who make bad decisions, is just wrong.

It's time to move on. Be honest with your boyfriend about your concerns. Let him know that it's not either of your jobs to support his family. Tell him it's one thing if his family was normally self-supporting and just hit a rought patch, then helping out is fine. However, permanently supporting people who make irresponsible decisions, is plain wrong. Also, let him know that no matter who he dates, in all likelihood, she will have the same concerns.

If you did marry him, as I mentioned above, it won't be long before you really resent his family. Also, you will start to wonder just what else you missed out on. So, do move on---and all that sh!t you said you put him through? Vow never to do that (whatever it is) to another man. Tweet