Afterthought...

...There are circumstances where 'a forgiving attitude' isn't appropriate...the way I see it.

...Circumstances where a person chooses NOT to see or speak to someone ever again...or to limit contact to the bare minimum.


This may be the trickiest maneuver in human relations we ever have to figure out.

There are always 'reasons' why we 'have to' interact with them...stay where we will surely see them again.


And, in the heat of the moment, we may be 'rattled' and not see all of our options.


In the situation you write of, above, I think you 'rose to the occasion', beautifully.

That demonstrates that you really know your job, and that you are prepared to handle yourself well when questioned, or even when faced with an oddball 'confrontation'.

As I read you, the key to the situation lay in your view of what was REALLY going on...a talent of your inner instincts.

Then came your idea of what needed to be said, and what could remain unsaid.


We don't always know it, but our thoughts and feelings are visible to others, beyond what we say...even if others don't consciously understand them...which is a tremendous tool for accomplishing good.


We can give a person we don't like a smile, and, at the same time, communicate that you and I will not interact again.


Meanwhile, that thought works on US...taking us farther and farther away from contact with the other.

Opportunities to be elsewhere, appear.


Plus, I believe our thoughts influence the other person...even to the point of their learning more about themselves, improving.


If we think, "You no-good, nasty person, and your mother dresses you funny," and it IS the same as saying that aloud...then what affect would that have on the other?

It would tick them off even more, wouldn't it?


On the other hand, if we allow that the other has the right and ability to learn better, with or without our company, and thinking that IS the same as saying it aloud...wouldn't the other have a better chance to improve?


AND, wouldn't WE feel more comfortable with the memory? ...With our estimation of ourselves, whether we will be around to see the upshot, or not?


For a few years I have been wondering if the thoughts of others toward us actually affect us.

I think they do.

I think the thoughts of others, or what we believe those thoughts are, are a part of the 'soup' of mixed influences we see as 'the rest of the world'.


If that could possibly be true, everyone would be better off to hold only thoughts of goodwill toward others, and get on with their own development, here or elsewhere...I think.

Maybe Pollyanna had a good idea.



I am sleepy right now, and may not be making sense.

I'll come back after a while and re-read what I've posted. Maybe I'll change it...maybe not.

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