No Need For An Apology + Stuff (Incl. Pic)

I wasn't offended at all. As for me being aflame with passion... that is sometimes because of other things that I am simultaneously discovering or working on as I visit CureZone that is in someway connected to the topic of the post I am commenting on... but not meant to be directed at you or anyone else personally. I get frustrated because my fingers cannot keep up with my mind or the things that I want to post about... and quite frankly... a lot of this stuff is making me rather weary. I'm beginning to understand why some of my spiritual compadres chose to bail on 'civilized' society... and instead hung out in places like this...





This stuff... some of which I have yet to post on... is so incredibly clear to me and I'm often dumbfounded that more people cannot see what is right before their eyes! Folks are hanging on for dear life to an old, tired, worn out paradigm... and I am growing rather impatient that more people are not catching on. I've been working my bloody ass off... what little there is left of it... and I am ALWAYS in some degree of physical pain. It F-ing hurts... and it is NOT a matter of resolving some sort of 'psychological' issue... nor is it something that is going to resolve by sitting in meditation! I've spent YEARS of my life covering BOTH of those bases... and I KNOW what is causing it... as well as MOST if not ALL of what I need to do to RESOLVE IT! At some point... this will all be much clearer and I can't take the time now to explain it... put I am TREMENDOUSLY PISSED OFF at the people and circumstances that have very conveniently gotten in the way of my making progress with this!

These idiots don't understand that... while they may *THINK* that they're at the top of the food chain and their insulated or immune because of the wealth they have amassed... they set some things in motion that they are NOT going to be able to control! He knows what he's talking about...



And for the past YEAR... I've had all SORTS of people trying to tell me what I need... instead of listening to ME... when I am the ONLY one who knows what that is! I KNOW that most of it is well-intentioned... and I have been told more than once that I am a handful... but I am so INCREDIBLY adverse to paternalizing or infantilizing attitudes and behavior... and FAR too many times I've been presented with the option of either accepting/adopting their OPINION... or being $hit out o' luck! Instead of understanding that it is not THEM that I am rejecting... but rather the suggestions they are making... because I know myself better than anyone else possibly COULD... they feel offended and put off! Without a doubt... YES... I've needed help... for the past YEAR... but QUITE OFTEN the help that I have needed and asked for has been so MUCH simpler AND cheaper AND easier AND more direct than the 'help' that has been offered!

Everyone makes assumptions based on their own frame of reference... and I understand this... but those are THEIR assumptions and THEIR frame of reference... and have NOTHING to do with ME! There are MANY times that I feel like I'm invisible or speaking a foreign language... and their are moments when I could just SCREAM... and HAVE... because people don't want to listen! By the time that it has gotten to that point though... I have been calm and pleasant and polite and respectful... all the things that are 'supposed' to bring about reasonable adult conversation and cooperation! For example... I've been dealing with a roommate who could have made SO MANY things SO MUCH easier... but just like so many other people... he is TOTALLY addicted to TV... INCREDIBLY self-destructive... UNBELIEVABLY resistant to change... and also so FEARFUL that a woman knows more about some things than he does and is going to leave him in a trail of smoke as far as 'getting ahead' in all the ways that 'civilized adults' are successful... and I'm simply warn out by the whole damn patriarchy!

I don't want to alienate anyone... I don't want to offend anyone... I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... I don't want anyone to feel rejected by me... I don't want to slight anyone...... I don't want to tell anyone what to do... I don't want to dominate anyone... these are all the sorts of things that primarily WOMEN are CONSTANTLY juggling... that are USUALLY perceived in a very different way than they are by men! There are even physiological reasons for this... including but not limited to... the differences in our hormones and our brain functioning and our energetic make-up that ACCOUNTS for this... but YET again... the vast majority of men use themselves as the frame of reference for viewing the world... and it IS a very different view for WOMEN! Fortunately... there are a growing number of men engaged in scientific and medical research that are STARTING to understand this and eventually EVERYONE is going to get it!

By and large... a HUGE obstacle that men need to overcome in order to shift their mindset is the CRAZY notion that in allowing women to be a larger part of leadership and decision-making... that women are then going to dominate THEM! That's a PATRIARCHAL mindset... and women are TIRED of being the recipients of men's unresolved MOMMY issues! Most of us don't WANT to be your mothers... nor do want to TAKE anything from you! This isn't about castrating or emasculating or FEMINIZING men... and there are a whole BUNCH of men who need to come to terms with their own sexuality and get over their homophobia... because that's a piece of this too!

This IS about ALL of us being WHOLE human beings... and that means accepting and integrating the masculine AND feminine ENERGIES that are in ALL OF US! This is not just about the relationships BETWEEN men and women... although that has been a MAJOR issue... it is our relationship with OURSELVES! It is IMPOSSIBLE to be truly healthy and happy when we are disconnecting ourselves from a HUGE part of our BEING! All that unconscious stuff that is lurking within... and has an even GREATER influence on us than the stuff that we are conscious of... it takes an ASTRONOMICAL amount of energy to hold that stuff down and keep it out of our awareness... and as soon as it becomes liberated and conscious... THAT'S when the REAL creativity begins! Just like men and women are capable of creating LIFE with the combining of these energies... so too are we able to create a whole different UNIVERSE when we have combined those energies WITHIN us!

Anyway... I know that I'm preaching to the choir in posting this to you... but wanted to explain what my response was about and the fact that it was not about you. By the way... I saw that you had gotten a case of champagne... I'd LOVE to join you! I KNOW all of this is going to be OK... and I know that there are a LOT of people working on this... in all SORTS of of ways... including some of the folks that are sitting in the caves in the mountains up there! We've all got our 'assignment'... if you will... and I KNOW what mine is! While I DO know that my own health and wellbeing are important... I also KNOW that there are REASONS why I have been through all this... and it ain't just about little ol' me! And as much as a REAL pain in the a.s.s. a LOT of this has been... it is also INCREDIBLY exciting and TERRIFICALLY promising... and believe it or not (which I know some may challenge with the whole "Who does she think she is?" crap)... it is humbling beyond belief! It IS a blessing and a curse... but the key is to take ALL of it... and to be deeply grateful... and I most sincerely AM.

And if it gets to be too much for me... I'll go hang out here...



Or... track down some old friends...







Peace ~ (O