This is fascinating, RB; I want to know more

I've suffered from Depression and anxiety for the past 12 years. I'm 47 now. At one point it was so bad that I was curled up in the fetal position praying to die. I tried more antidepressants than you can imagine. Nothing helped. Ativan helped with the anxiety, but the side effects were unacceptable. I've never fully recovered. The anxiety never went away. It's as if I keep it somewhat in chains deep down in the dungeon of my psyche, but it's screaming to be unleashed. Now, perhaps there is something to your theory that some of us are destined to live with it and try to keep it under control. It seems to be that way for me. I had always hoped that one day I could be one of those who just used the happy thoughts to "make it go away," but I don't see that happening. For whatever reason, it's here. It's very difficult to live around it, but I'm better than I was and all I can hope is that I will continue to improve to some degree.
It's interesting that you have been in the presence of "enlightened ones" and still haven't found the much-sought-after cure. I've pictured myself having the experience of being in front of spiritually enlightened gurus, and I do not believe that it would "cure" me.
What I'd like to know is what you mean by real meditation. Maybe it's a small piece of the puzzle I could utilize to try and live with this unmerciful condition. I've read about meditation, but I'd like to know what sort of meditation you've tried.
Thanks. Tweet