Re: Muscular Dystrophy and Homosexuality: Which is the Real Handicap?

I sincerely appreciate your words of encouragement. The recognition that someone else out there has been where I am now and has made it through to the other side is the biggest boost I can receive right now.

I believe in my head that I won't be alone forever. I need to remind myself of that more often that I think I should need to, but I just need to give myself more time to sort out my confidence issues.

I want to clear something up, for anyone else who is reading, about my 'out' status to my family. When I told my mother last May that I was gay, her instant reaction was to say "no, you're not." And with a laugh, she dismissed it. When she saw the look on my face and the tears beginning to form, she began to get upset. After that, I endured the normal series of questions: why do you think you're gay? Have you even tried flirting with women? Do you know how hard your life is going to be?

After fifteen minutes of discussion, my mother decided that I needed to talk to a pastor or a counselor, but that I would have to do that on my own. She walked out of the bathroom and went to her room to get dressed for work. When she returned and told me that she was ready to go to work, her behavior suggested that she would going to pretend that I had never told her. To this day, she hasn't mentioned the subject to me directly. She has only mentioned how sick and disgusting homosexuals are in nearly every conversation that takes place in my presence. I decided not to tell anyone else in the family, as I feared a similar reaction from the rest of them, and since I depend on my family for a large deal of my support, I felt that it would be a mistake to come out.

I have my friends. Many wonderful friends who love me for who I am, and that makes the family situation bearable. In fact, I think of my close friends as my family. Accepting and loving as it should be. At the very least, I guess I should be happy I have people who give a shit about me, instead of complaining about my single status.

I'm going to print out your reply and save it for a rainy day, when I'm feeling alone and depressed. You've shown me that I'm not alone and proven that things get better. Thank you. Thank you so much.