Hello there,
I am feeling really bad for you just reading your post. It is often overlooked that TMJ does not only affect the sufferer himself, but also the people around him.
I wrote in this forum before about the TMJ Help Program, which is the exercises I used to considerably improve my TMJ. You may want to look into http://www.tmj-help.org
it is the website where you can find the tmj help program. Basically it's an ebook with many exercises and massages to practice at home (or wherever you want). While it didn't cure me 100% as it claimed to, I have to admit that I am maybe 95% back to normal. The website looks like one of these "miracle" sites claiming to make you feel better in days. That's not true. It took me a few weeks to get where I am today but the tmj help program was the best $40 I ever spent. Hope that helps. Please keep us updated.