Do I tell my husband or spare him the worry?

Hi Bella,

My husband is deployed in Iraq and will be until August of next year. I have ongoing autoimmune problems including Systemic Candida, Epstein Barr, Hypothryoidism, to name a few. My husband knows of my conditions and has always been very supportive.

Yesterday I was with my mom at her dermatology appt. While there, I asked the doctor to look at my face, as I have these strange indentations and trough like things all over my face. At 42, while I know wrinkles are possible, these aren't wrinkles and not acne scars. The doctor examined it closely and told me that I need to get into my military doctor ASAP, to get a referral to a dermatologist. She told me I need to get a biopsy on my face, as she highly suspects Scleroderma. I was devastated. Bella, I have had to deal with so much in my life and it feels like this is yet another blow to my psyche. I feel like I have no control over things in my life and I feel so scared right now.

My family does not think I should tell my husband, because they don't want me to put any more stress on him that he already has. However, my husband and I don't keep secrets from one another and I know he would be very upset if I didn't tell him right away. I also feel like I need his support through this really frightening time in my life. Am I being selfish for wanting to tell him, or am I being selfish if I don't tell him. Thank you.

Kir Tweet