I'm hurting

I am reaching out because I have come to the end of my rope. I want to take the last little loop of it and hang myself. I've been reading curezone for about 4 years now but I don't post very often. I cured myself from Psoriasis three years ago using the cleansing and different protocols from curezone. I have been having anxiety attacks and was on antidepressents for a while. Now I'm back to square one. I'm just so lonely and tired. I don't think I have it in me to go through this again. I don't have anyone to turn to. I live alone and I have no one to talk to about anything. My family live near by but they are young and busy and don't really understand what it is like to be alone at 54 y/o and not have anyone when you are sick. I've always helped others and still do, but when I need help it seems no one is around or has time. The only reason I even want to keep going is for my beautiful granddaughter who is 4 years old. I hope my love for her will get me through. Maybe just writing this will help some. I'm just so dam* lonely! I feel so disconnected from other people. If anyone out there believes in prayer send one my way.