I am so sorry for your loss. I can symphathize with you. I lost my father when I was eight years old. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. But growing up I also learned that he would want me to go on, enjoy life and continue to be the best I can be. Most of all they would want me to smile and be happy. Even though we loose the ones we love a long the way. They still continue to watch over us in spirit. I know its hard but they are always with us every step of the way. Some advice you should start living your life and get outside and start to smell the flowers and let the sun shine on your face. They would want you to do that. Be happy keep them in your thoughts and beautiful memories at heart. Remember you are loved and you are blessed. You will be alright.