Falling apart & just not coping after just loosing my Sister /Best friend & Father.

Hello & thank-you for taking the time to care & read this.
I'm going through a really difficult time at the moment, I feel like a Zombie (just finding it really hard to smile)...

I lost my father 2 years ago to lung cancer; it was a horrible way for him to go & it took me about 6 months to get through the worst of the grieving & I had professional counselling. My sister was so very supportive during that time & we both discussed how hard it will be when mum eventually passes away & she reassured me she would be there for me. (Plus my step-father died 6 months later too)

A month ago my beautiful sister died unexpectadly & it's hit me harder than I ever believed possible. She wasnt just a sister, she was my best friend & the most beautiful kind hearted, caring person Ive ever met. (she had 600 people at her funeral & wake if that was any indication of the amount of people that loved her).

My sister was diagnosed with Breast Cancer April 2007 & had chemo & radiation & was given the full body scan at Xmas with the 'all clear'. She lived Interstate (Victoria) with her family & came to holiday & visit me in January 2008 (Queensland). During the second week of her holiday she had a pain under her rib (they put her in hospital) & they discovered she had secondary cancer in the liver (6/8ths). She flew home was admitted to hospital the following Wednesday & died on the Saturday 26th January 'Australia Day'.

I promised myself I wasnt going to let her death destroy me, cause she would never want that and I'm a single mum so I must soldier on. Ive been going to work but everything is so hard. Housework seems like an overwhelming task, even though Ive been doing it. Simple things are now really hard, & I feel like Im going nuts.
Everyone can see it in my eyes, my voice, my face.

She was a soul-mate to me. (she lost her twin-sister at 3yrs of age to Leukeamia & always hungered for that bond). My sister was 6 years older than me & as we got older, we grew closer, we had a very strong spiritual connection. So much so that I knew the night before it was going to happen. (I had a vision of her saying to me "let go, just let go"...of the connection we had)...Nobody else knew it was going to happen that day. The day she died I said to my daughter "3pm Australia Day". I didnt say why, but she will never forget it & as it was my sister passed away 2 hrs later.

Anyway I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story. I came on curezone tonight to see if there was any vitamins that may help the Zombie feeling Im dealing with...but even that got too hard searching...so I discovered this forum & started to write! .....P.S.(Oh and if that wasnt enough my step-mother who Im close to is battling cancer too).

Thanks again
Madi

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