day 9 of water fast

I am really struggling right now. With a lot of things emotionally and physically.

I came back to the forum to see it in almost in chaos. I am almost afraid to say anything in fears that I might insult or upset others.

I know that fasting has gotten me down as well it was so very hard to tell K over and over again, I wasn't hungry, which was true. I wasn't. So I survived the weekend with him and not breaking my fast.

Monday I got upset when we were talking about something on the phone and I went into stuttering mode, which was very hard for me, but I tried to calm down enough to speak. I just knew if I didn't say anything at all, then I would clam up. I did and I still haven't spoke to K yet. He texted me several times yesterday but I couldn't say anything, it was so hard to do so.

I worked up some strength to text him Hello and nothing. I said I was sorry. Nothing. I just gave up. It just took too much out of me just to say those few words.

Now, I want to break my fast. I know it is just because I am so emotional. I feel abandoned because I struggle with things.

At times, this forum is all that I have and now it just seems like chaos in here. the people that I see so often are not on and have not posted. Chiron, Michel, Latinmess, Chrisb to name a few that made me visiting the forum more full.

I guess I just feel so down. I know I get this way right about now in my fast. It just isn't the easiest to handle. It is more harder to deal with the emotional then the physical. If I can just hang on a bit longer, maybe it will get better.