There is nothing wrong with you! You are such a fine lady! You got to be proud of yourself. Those things you feel/felt are kind of "normal" for many women (been there, done that).
One day you will realize that we do not need to understand every thing in life. We get ourselves into trouble if we try to justify/understand the complexity of all human reactions and feelings. You have managed to remain sensible and highly civil. You have raised your precious children. Keep your head up and smile because your feelings of self doubt are normal, and will soon pass.
I am glad to see you understand than fasting has many purposes, not only good to lose weight. And that is the main reason I want to fast too. Fasting helps to heal the emotions within and adds to our level of personal wisdom.